the mourning of M.J.

The passing of Michael Jackson is beginning to sink in with me today.  I purposely didn’t watch any news channels last night because I was afraid it would greatly affect me.  My girlfriend cried a lot and stayed glued to the television, flipping from station to station, soaking in all the news.  It was her way of grieving. 

On the drive to work this morning, I decided to listen to the radio (normally I listen to my Ipod in the car, but I didn’t have it with me today).  A lot of stations were playing M.J.’s music nonstop.  I started crying, but I didn’t allow myself to fully let go. I was on my way to work, after all, and I refuse to fall apart there.

I’m wondering how I will react once I’m back in the safety and comfort of home. Part of me wants to allow my emotions to run their course; I know that’s the “healthy” way because crying is a gift of healing from God.  However, another part of me wants to hold it all in, until I can release it via some sort of physical activity (e.g. running, working out, etc.).

I don’t know… I just don’t mourn very well…  :-(