Toxic Relationships

I’ve tossed around the idea of blogging about my past relationships. Two of them were a mix of good & bad times. One was extremely toxic and had a profound impact on how I view relationships. One day, I may share my experiences.

In the meantime, here’s a great article that lists common signs of a toxic relationship. I’ve provided a link, but they’re posted below for your convenience.

***Consider these signs carefully and be honest with yourself. If you or your partner is exhibiting any of these behaviors, please seek help to turn your unhealthy situation into a healthy one.***

25 Ways to Tell if Your Relationship is Toxic
Many people are in relationships when they know something is just not right. In the middle of such a relationship, it may be difficult to know if the relationship is unhealthy. Here are 25 ways to tell if your relationship is toxic.
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25 Ways to Tell if Your Relationship is Toxic
1.) Your partner puts you down verbally, in private or in front
of others.
2.) Your partner tells you he/she loves you but behavior
shows otherwise.
3.) Your partner doesn’t want you to see or talk to friends or
family.
4.) Your partner is jealous of the time you spend with your
kids.
5.) Your partner shows up often at your work unexpectedly or
opens your mail.
6.) Your partner calls you often to see what you are doing.
7.) You cry often or feel depressed over your relationship.
8.) Your partner says you would have the perfect relationship
if only you would change.
9.) Your partner wants you to be dependent on him.
10.) Your partner does things for you and then uses them to
make you feel obligated.
11.) Your thoughts, opinions, accomplishments, or words are
devalued.
12.) You don’t know who you are anymore without him/her, or
how you would survive.
13.) Your friends/family don’t like your partner or don’t think he
is good for you.
14.) You have changed things about yourself to suit your
partner, even when it is not your taste.
15.) You always go where your partner wants to, like movies,
restaurants, etc.
16.) Your partner has made you feel afraid or unsafe, and you
have been afraid to speak the truth at times for fear of
upsetting him/her (walking on eggshells).
17.) You don’t feel you have control of your life anymore.
18.) Your self-esteem is lower since you’ve been with your
partner.
19.) You think it’s up to you to make the relationship work.
20.) You keep secrets about your relationship from others who
love you because they wouldn’t understand.
21.) Your partner makes you feel unattractive or stupid.
22.) Your partner accuses you of cheating and is overly
jealous.
23.) Your partner can be really sweet to you one minute, and
really mean the next.
24.) Your partner seems really sweet/loving to you when
he/she thinks you are about to leave the relationship, or
after he/she has been mean to you.
25.) You can’t remember the last time you felt happy for more
than a few days straight.

If you need help with your relationship, talk to a friend or family member, a clergyman, a counselor, or call your local mental health center. If you are in danger, help is available at The National Domestic Violence Hotline, (800) 799-SAFE, where someone can put you in touch with battered women’s shelters and other resources. Remember, no one can take care of you as well as YOU can. Get the help you need.